Sunday, November 6, 2011

feedbacks from last crit (of the revision on the scripts...)

Identity-
No car keys- make being hold bunch of cards instead
The being can be a common metaphor. ex: Nigerian Prince


Family & Friends-
Too consumptuous
Too heavy/dramatic/grieving/shocking
Add transitions
(ideas)
Maybe happens in one day
Letter in his room (Employment of the Month Certificate) but now he turns and all his family members shut the door on him
or
Pull away and he is in a dingy apartment by himself


Nature-
Too much happenings- hard to catch and understand all the reasons why things are happening
Don't let people hate nature but make them feel sympathy- the fishes should not take revenge
Think of outcomes
(ideas)

Landfill comes to you
Make nature do the bad things without the audience knowing why and the last message appears

Beliefs-
Mon has a pro-active role
No 'cause & effect' plot is seen here

Other-
Come up with an unifying slogan for the series
The 'Belief' one gears toward a different direction- it's not as literal as the other 3 so this one may not fit at all

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